“Mum can we talk?” or “Mum stop prying!”

No daughter is the same. As they enter puberty some will naturally confide in their mums, others might retreat into their shells or even worse, listen to scare stories told by their friends.

Either way, it’s important that you’re there for her.

Read more for the one that sounds like your daughter for tips on how to get that all important conversation going.


It sounds like your daughter is already a confident young lady. By coming to you for advice she’s itching to hear your wisdom. She’ll have a lot of questions, so here’s some advice on how to react:

  • Conversation is a two way street – Your daughter isn’t looking for a lecture, she wants to discuss what she’s going through. That means you have to do your fair share of listening.
  • Silly questions don’t exist – Make it clear that she can ask you anything at all, no matter how daft she thinks it might be
  • Try and stick to the 50% rule – Many parents say 505 more than they need to. Don’t bear about the bust, get straight to the point.


It sounds like your daughter might feel awkward or embarrassed talking about the changes she’s experiencing. That’s perfectly normal. To give her the best opportunity for sharing her feelings, try these subtle ways of breaking the ice:

  • Try not to force the conversation – Reassure your daughter that you’re there for her whenever she wants to talk. Perhaps remind her that you were her age once and experienced all the same uncertainties.
  • Be spontaneous – You might find that the right time to chat arrives when you least expect it – in the car, walking the dog, unpacking the shopping. These are moments when you’re both relaxed and there’s no pressure on the situation.
  • Talk less – Try and allow her to lead the conversation. Listen carefully to what she has to say and offer advice in a respectful and sensitive way.

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